Teen Years
by Sango5
Summary: (rated for adult humor, drugalcohol references) We're all teenagers at some point...


Teen Years

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any other copyrighted material mentioned in this fic, unless I do in fact own it. Because if I own it then I don't have to write a disclaimer, because I have rightfully and legally claimed it... So, uh.... Oh, forget it...

A/n: This story is extremely AR, the group doesn't even know of the Shikon Jewel, InuYasha isn't pinned to a tree, they live in the same neighborhood, it's modern day, etc. Oh, and I got this idea from "That 70's Show" so you might see SOME similarities...

Characters (not the parents) :

InuYasha Tetsaiga: 16 years old. He is moody and usually pissed off for no good reason. He has a secret crush on Kagome. He lives with his mom (his parents are divorced and he hardly sees his dad) and his older brother.

Kagome Higurashi: 13 years old. She's kind and sweet, almost annoyingly so. She still thinks boys have "cooties". She lives with her mom, grandpa, and baby brother (Sota is about 5 or 6).

Miroku Houshii: 14 years old. He's perverted, but the most educated (though frequently wrong) on the subject of... s-e-x! He has a crush on Sango and tries hard to impress her. He lives with his dad, his dad's roommate (Mushin), and whatever girl his dad has for the week.

Sango Hiraikotsu: 14 1/2 years old. She's calm most of the time, but she can be one Hell of a fighter. She doesn't like boys because they don't like her, she's intimidating. She lives with her dad and baby brother (Kohaku is about 7).

Sesshoumaru Tensaiga: 18 years old. He's very snobby and likes picking on InuYasha and his "dorky" friends. He has a girlfriend, and enjoys showing her off (Kagura Kaze). He lives with his mom and his little brother.

Kagura Kaze: 17 1/2 years old. She's pretty, popular, a cheerleader, and one Hell of a bitch. She dates the quarterback (Sesshoumaru). She lives with her dad, Naraku (NARAKU'S A DADDY! XD) and her little sister.

Kanna Kaze: 15 years old. She's an outcast and wants nothing more than to be left alone. She has a crush on someone, but I won't say who. She lives with her dad and her older sister.

Kouga Ookami: 16 years old. He's the captain of the track team and likes is very outgoing, he can be boisterous and obnoxious. He doesn't like anyone for the time being, but he is popular because the girls are jealous of his legs. He lives with roommates (Ginta and Hakkaku, they're both almost 18).

Kikyou Miko: 18 years old. She believes in witch craft and voodoo, and loves scaring InuYasha's friends. She is InuYasha's ex-girlfriend. She lives in a small apartment by herself.

"They're like little crustations," Miroku explained, he was sitting on a bar stool and spinning.

"Like pets?" Kagome tilted her head and leaned closer. She was seated on the couch next to InuYasha.

They were all sitting in InuYasha's basement. A fairly dusty and non-modern basement, but it was a sanctuary away from dreaded parents. There were posters of popular bands, models, favorite clothing lines, and random works of art from school. There was an old couch that could seat 3 people placed before a television. Scattered around the room were multiple other chairs of varying styles. Under the staircase was a small fridge and to the right was an empty room.

"Not like pets," Miroku shook his head. "They make you all itchy and stuff," he told the interested Kagome another one of his ill-informed stories.

"That's disgusting, Miroku," Sango uttered, throwing a crumpled and empty bag of chips at him from her seat behind the couch.

He ducked the attack and laughed. "I heard it at the doctor's office."

"Just 'cause you hear it doesn't mean we want to know about it," InuYasha grumbled, not taking his eyes off the TV as he watched the X Games.

"Yeah, that's gross," Kagome made a face and turned to watch TV.

"Sango-o-o-o," Miroku said in a singsong voice, "wanna know HOW you get them?"

She lifted an eyebrow, "No. What I do want to know was why you were at the doctor's office."

"Physical," Miroku made a face of disgust.

Sango laughed, "What for?"

"The doctor's are like Micheal Jackson," InuYasha laughed.

Miroku made an overdramatic face to show his dislike at InuYasha's comment. "No, I'm signing up for track."

Sango scoffed. "You're kidding right?"

"No..." he blinked. "What's wrong with track?"

InuYasha joined in, since there was a commercial, "There's nothing wrong with track, except only fags sign up for track."

"That's not true," Miroku scowled. "There are plenty of straight guys on the team."

"Oh, you're right," InuYasha said sarcastically, "all those straight guys who wear short-shorts and shave their legs and--"

"What about football?" Miroku interrupted. InuYasha loved football. "You all smack each other's butts and wear tight pants," he laughed.

"Stop you guys," Sango said unenthusiastically.

InuYasha stood up. "Well at least it's not as gay as track," he yelled defensively.

"But it's still gay," Miroku smirked.

"Nuh uh!" InuYasha hopped over the couch and hurried up the stairs angrily.

"Gee, someone's panties are in a twist," Miroku laughed.

"He doesn't wear panties," Kagome blinked. "Does he?"

Miroku shrugged, "Maybe, he does seem the type."

Sango got up and grabbed her backpack. She sat on the couch and unzipped her bag. She glanced around and pulled out a can.

"What y'got there?" Miroku stretched his head to try and see.

"Beer," Sango said, her lips curled in a smug grin.

"Where'd you get it?" Kagome stared at the can as if it was magical.

"I took it from the fridge at my place this morning," she shrugged casually.

"Adventurous, daring, fearless... I like it," Miroku got up and went and sat on the arm of the couch.

Sango popped open the top and it made a short hissing sound. She put the can to her lips and paused. "I feel so bad," she confessed, laughing slightly.

"Bad as in... naughty?" Miroku wiggled his eyebrows.

"No, like I'm not supposed to be doing this," she glanced at him sideways.

"Like if you were kissing a girl?" Miroku smiled pervertedly.

"No! Shut up," Sango glared at him. She looked at can and brought it to her lips again.

"We shouldn't do this," Kagome whispered.

"Oh, well," Sango tilted her head back and gulped the beer.

At that moment InuYasha's mom came down the stairs saying, "InuYasha told me you guys were picking on him, now I don't mean to--" She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at her son's friend.

Sango took the can from her mouth, "Uh... Ms. Tetsaiga, it's not what it looks like."

"Really?" she crossed her arms over her chest and gave the three an authority-ridden glare.

"Uhh," Miroku glanced around for an excuse. "A rabbit--no--a magical--er, I mean--a demon rabbit came in here... A-and he told us we had to drink this can," Miroku grabbed the can from Sango and held it up. "H-he said it was magical and would make us... um... it would make us straight track runners! So, being the gentleman that I am, I allowed Sango to drink it first. If she got poisoned and died than I would remain a gentleman and not laugh at her funeral! Because I laughed at someone's funeral before," Miroku lowered his head in shame.

He looked up again, "No one realizes how funny people look all stiff and pale in coffins, like vampires. And if someone tells you not to laugh it makes it even funnier," Miroku laughed nervously.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Miroku.

"What are you on?" Ms. Tetsaiga narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Miroku.

"You're a horrible liar," Sango growled under her breath and smacked Miroku's arm.

"But they do look funny," Miroku whined.

"I'm going to teach you kids a lesson," Ms. Tetsaiga motioned for the three to follow her upstairs. Miroku set the can down before following.

"Ms. InuYasha's Mom," Kagome squeaked, "I kept telling them not to do it. Honest, I did nothing wrong."

"If you knew they were going to do something wrong you should have came and told me," they followed her out of the door at the top of the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Yeah, Kagome, if you knew we were going to do something bad you should have tattled on us, like a good little snitch," Miroku stuck his tongue out.

"I am not a snitch," she frowned. "Ms. InuYasha's Mom, Miroku called me a snitch!"

Ms. Tetsaiga was getting on her coat and grabbing her car keys.

"Where are we going?" Sango asked. "I have to be home by--"

"I'm going to the grocery store," she answered, walking to the door.

"What about our lesson?" Kagome reminded, and she was promptly punched on the arm by Sango and told to "Shhh".

"I'm going to get it," she stopped for a second to give the kids a glare saying 'don't even try to leave, it'll only make things worse' and left.

"She's going to give us arsenic," Sango nodded solemnly.

"What's that?" Kagome blinked.

"What's what?" InuYasha walked into the kitchen.

"It's all your fault we're gonna die!" Miroku cried overdramatically.

"What?" he arched an eyebrow at the trio.

Sango took a deep breath and explained quickly, "Your mom saw me drinking beer and Miroku made up this stupid lie about some rabbit demon and laughing at funerals. So, now your mom is going to the store to get our punishment to teach us a lesson and Miroku thinks she's going to poison us with arsenic. Which is obviously not going to happen because your mom isn't going to want to be held responsible for three accounts of murder and it's just something wrong with Miroku's head." Sango shrugged.

"Oh," InuYasha nodded, slowly taking it all in. "I do have one question," InuYasha said as he stroked his chin in deep thought.

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you get the beer?!" InuYasha frowned because he didn't get any.

"I took it from my fridge this morning," Sango smirked with satisfaction of her amateur thief skills.

Before InuYasha could say anything his brother walked in with Kagura.

"What're you doing, Friendless Wonder?" Sesshoumaru laughed and ruffled his little brother's hair.

"Why don't you and that witch go melt in the rain?" InuYasha grumbled, trying to fix his hair.

"Okay, we will. Only after you and the Dork Squad burn in Hell," he added.

Kagura laughed evilly and pulled playfully on Sesshoumaru's arm, "Let's go up to your room. Forget these losers."

"Okay, Babe," he followed her out of the kitchen.

"Ugh, I hate him," growled InuYasha.

"Hate is a very powerful word," Kagome patted InuYasha's shoulder. "He's your brother, you can't hate him."

InuYasha turned to face Kagome directly. "Stop and think about how it feels when you're little brother, Sota, takes your things without asking; or when he yells and screams; or when he colors on your walls; or when he cries because you won't share your crayons... See how it feels? Now, imagine that ten times worse with someone twice your size."

"I hate him," Kagome hissed.

"I know that feeling," Sango scowled. "Just because he's little he gets ALL the attention. My dad makes a big deal about my brother getting average grades but I could bring home straight A's and he wouldn't notice."

"I'm an only child," Miroku grinned. The other three glared coldly at him.

"I'm back," Ms. Tetsaiga walked inside with a single brown paper bag in her hands. "Okay, you're going to drink these," she pulled two 6-packs from the bag and a large, dark green bottle filled with apple juice-like liquid. "That's four cans for everyone and a few glasses of wine. That ought of make for a nice hangover."

Miroku nudged Sango and whispered, "See? She's going to give us alcohol poisoning."

"Well, drink up," she pulled the beers off the plastic rings one by one and passed them to the three who were being punished.

"How will this solve anything?" Miroku was willingly opening the can and drinking it. He gulped it down. "Won't this make us raging alcoholics?"

"It will show you that being drunk isn't that much fun," Ms. Tetsaiga smiled sweetly.

"Won'y it only feed our undeveloped addictions, and later turn us into--like Miroku said--raging alcoholics?" Sango said, nervously popping open the can.

"Maybe," she stopped, considering it. "But I have a feeling you need this." She sat at the table and gestured for them to get comfortable around the table.

"My mom won't approve of this," Kagome said, staring at her unopened can.

"I know your mom, and she won't mind," Ms. Tetsaiga assured her. Kagome nervously popped the top and stared at the can.

"Go ahead," Miroku said, elbowing Kagome. "It's good," he was already on his second beer.

"Mom, is this a good idea?" InuYasha raised an eyebrow as Kagome sipped the can.

"You watch and learn," Ms. Tetsaiga narrowed her eyes sternly at her son.

"Yes, ma'am," InuYasha whimpered and went to sit at the table by his mother.

Miroku hiccupped, "I'm feeling kind of tipsy already."

Sango gulped the last bit and went for her second as she took a seat at the table. "My cheeks feel hot," Sango giggled.

Kagome went and sat with the others, still sipping her first can.

Miroku gulped down his second beer, "Hehehe, I can't hold my alcohol very well. All-ka-hall... Al-ka-ma-ho-o-ole... Hm, that's a funny word. Werrrd, w-OR-d... d-d-d.... " he started laughing as he started on his third beer.

Sango started giggling and spit some of her drink on the table. "Y'know what'sh a funny word?" She started giggling hysterically at the thought of it. "Pelvis!" she yelled out, hitting her forehead on the table as she cracked up.

Miroku started laughing, tears of mirth in his eyes. "I-it's like Elvis but with a P," he gasped out between laughs.

InuYasha's mother shook her head and laughed a little.

"What's so funny, Mom?" InuYasha lifted an eyebrow.

"Nothing," she smiled and held her laughs back.

Kagome had finally finished her first one and slowly got to the next one.

"I've always wondered," Sango stopped laughing. "What's with the I before E rule? I mean... It's I before E, except after C, and except when sounding like AY as in neighbor and weigh... Then what about the word feisty?" Sango hiccupped and looked arund the table for an answer.

"Are you feeling feisty?" Miroku growled and scooted his chair closer to hers.

"Oh, I got it!" she finished and set set her can down. She got up on the table and stared at the chandelier. "Listen you, it's I before E, except after C, and when sounding like AY as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays, and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! ((Yaaay, Brian. Heh, inside joke... XD)) " She grabbed the chandelier and viciously started tugging on it.

"Oh, dear," Ms. Tetsaiga shook her head and sighed.

"Go Sango!" cheered Miroku, who had finished his third beer and was starting on his fourth and last.

"I don't feel so good," whined Kagome, who was barely half way done her second beer.

"I'll teach you to correct my spelling!" Sango screamed, hanging on the chandelier and smacking it.

"Sango, the chandelier wasn't correcting your spelling," InuYasha stared wide-eyed and worried at his friend who had only had two cans of beer.

"It was the toaster!" she let go of the chandelier and crouched on the table. She started beating her fists on her chest and calling out like Tarzan.

"Yeah, you're a hardcore, badass, Amazon chick, Sango! Go get that trash talking toaster!" Miroku called.

"We don't have a toaster," InuYasha told Sango, but she wasn't listening. She started searcing drawer to drawer for the toaster.

Without warning, Kagome ran to the trashcan and puked. "I promise I'll never drink again, I swear to God." She coughed and whined, keeping her head over the trashcan.

"I think God wants us to drink alcohol," Miroku told Kagome.

"What do you mean?" she whimpered.

"Well, he did turn his son's blood into wine," Miroku reminded.

"You're taking that way out of context," Kagome sighed, not bothering to leave the trashcan.

"I found you at last!" Sango called as she pulled something from a cupboard.

"Sango, that isn't a toaster," Ms. Tetsaiga stared at the girl.

"It isn't?" Sango stared at the mouse trap clamped on her fingertips.

"Yikes, that's got to hurt," InuYasha shuddered at the thought.

"It does kind of hurt," Sango nodded.

"Damn, you masochist, you," Miroku shook his head and finished up his last drink of beer.

"Here," InuYasha's mom handed Miroku the dark green bottle.

"I think my finger's broken," Sango had taken the mouse trap off her fingers. She held up her middle finger, which was bent funny.

"Oh, dear," Ms. Tetsaiga bit her lower lip nervously.

Miroku chugged from the bottle, "This tastes like apple cider."

"Okay, I think it's time you kids run along home," Ms. Tetsaiga stood up.

Miroku took the bottle with him.

Sango glared at the chandelier before leaving with a fresh can of beer.

Kagome left clutching her stomach.

"Those poor kids," Ms. Tetsaiga shook her head and began cleaning the empty cans.

"What do you mean?" InuYasha went to clean up the disorderly kitchen appliances.

Ms. Tetsaiga laughed slightly, "It was non alcoholic beer."

A/n: Heh heh... Give me ideas for what to do with them in the next chapter. You can review or email me (Subject line: Teen Years)! n.n


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